Today was supposed to be "Through My Eyes Thursday" ... and I planned on reviewing "The Dark Knight"... But I just didn't feel like vlogging. I'm so tired and worn out from work. Maybe I should start recording all of my videos on the weekend and then just post them accordingly...
To sum up "The Dark Knight" - It was awesome. Amazing camera work in my opinion... dizzying at times, but I felt that was the point. And I absolutely loved that Heath Ledger's part was written so well. Yes, he did an amazing job at invoking this sick and twisted persona... as I expected... but a lot of the credit really should go to the writer. He had all of the best scenes and lines in my opinion. And no one could have delivered those lines quite like he did... so sad that we'll never get to see him bring an amazing character to life again.
Anyway.
Do you ever think of something you did like 5 years ago and then just hate yourself for having done whatever it was? I do.
In fact, I think of things I've done a few weeks ago and hate myself for it.
Actually, I probably only like myself for the present 5 minutes. Right now I'm pretty cool. But 5 minutes ago I sucked... and 5 minutes from now I will think I sucked now.
Does that make sense to you?
I'm just not very happy right now and I'm not sure why. Well, I kind of know why. I'm playing a victim to my circumstances. I sort of hate my job. I really hate my job. And I'm just kind of bored of the life I created for myself.
But I can be kind of stubborn... so it's hard for me to admit that I'm not super happy in L.A. since I convinced my parents (back in Brooklyn) that I'm soooo happy I moved here.
Not that I don't like L.A. It's fine. Lovely weather. I just don't like the boring life I'm leading. Work. Eat. Vlog. Sleep. Friends? Occasionally.
Something needs to change. I'm not sure what exactly my plan is yet... but something is changing, I assure you. I'm not the kind of girl that just sits and lets myself be unhappy. Hence the moving across the country thing. And I've been known to just randomly quit jobs because I was unhappy... I'm a big believer in striving to get what you want and what will make you happy - even if it might entail ridiculous measures.
So I'm not sure what it will be yet. Honestly, what I would LOVE to do is just be able to travel the world and randomly live in places for short periods of time as I vlog and write my little heart out. But that's not something I can really accomplish with the debt that's following me. Damn it.
But SOMETHING is going to change... so far it will be one of or a few of the following:
1 - Find a new day job.
2 - Move back to NY.
3 - Move to a different state (other than Cali and NY).
4 - Move to another country.
5 - Maybe I should try to freelance PA?
6 - Whatever else I can think of.
Hmm...
Posts
4 comments:
Hi there - one of your youtubers here :) Somehow I don't think that moving anywhere will change your life to a happier one... Sure, there is the short-time thrill and excitement, new people and everything but as long as you don't have any trouble with the people around you right now moving won't satisfy you in the long run.... everything imho, of course.
What fulfills me are (in that order, I am a workaholic) my job, my cats, my duties in WoW - an online game in case you didn't know it yet... and then other things like chocolate or vlogging ;)
So maybe you do need to reflect a little and find out what really satisfies you? Maybe its the wrong job, maybe its the wrong stuff you do in your free time, maybe... The only one who might know is you.
In any case, I wish you the wisdom that you might need for this task :) (not sure what the PA stands for, so not going to comment on that - and I don't like that you have to be registered somewhere in order to leave a comment here :( )
Regards,
Chaoticnotes
As far as that elusive animal called happiness goes, good luck. There is a reason we are only promised to freely pursue happiness, and never promised to catch it. I honestly think that we can never have true sustaining joy without being first content with ourselves. That is my advice, be happy and content with you, and not just the one that exists for this 5 minutes. You may see things that you want to change and areas that you want to grow, but that doesn't make who you were 5 minutes ago a lesser person. In fact if you never were who you were 5 minutes ago, you would never have been the person you are in these 5 minutes.
K, nuff of the philisophy crap. Move to Tampa! We have it awesome here, and there is a crap-load of New Yorkers here, so you'll feel right at home! Plus then I won't feel like the only YouTuber in the friggin city!
Anyway, I enjoy your stuff and I hope that you find contentment in whatever you do. Life is so much better when you do.
Chris a.k.a. Hursty810
Aw, pumpkin'. Don't fret. It's part of the moving-to-LA experience. When I first moved here, a friend advised me that it takes five years in LA before you feel comfortable and happy. I would say that's about right. Hang in there! I promise, it'll get better!
you're a cool person, i like watching you. i have a blog i go to when i put thoughts together. i never show it to anyone but people come across it by accident. it's an evolving blog, i get to it when ever:
http://0zspitt.webs.com/
muglytheworm aka 0zSpitt, aka nt0xxik8ed, aka rand0mCreep aka ...
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